Reading through New York Magazine‘s follow-up feature with Tila Tequila discussing her late fiancee Casey Johnson, Internet backlash, and pursuits for the future, I started to think that Tequila might be a little more sound in the mind than we often give her credit for.
After all, she sounds pretty aware of an increasingly unhealthy relationship with the web:
“You know, my therapist told me that I have an Internet addiction,” she says. “I go on, it feels good, because I get on there and perform and get a high just like a drug. But then there’s a backlash by the people beating me up. And every time I get the backlash I have to get back on the Internet to get the high again.”
She also has a relatively clear idea of why early supporters have turned on her, and late adopters resent her:
“When I started on MySpace, people wanted to support me, but once I rose to fame with the MTV show, they felt like I had abandoned them for some reason, that I was too famous to talk to them anymore,” she says. “Then I have other people who I simply can’t talk to, because if I reply one time they want more and more, and if they don’t get more responses, they turn against me.” She cocks her head. “Other people used to like me because I’m not pristine and perfect like other stars, because I say ‘what’s up’ — yet I’m a celebrity. But then those people start thinking, ‘Well, if she’s the same as me, what makes her better than me? How come she gets to be famous and I can’t?‘”
You look at the statements above and you’re like, hunh. Maybe she’s just a sad person who doesn’t really mean any harm, just wants to connect. She’s lonely. She’s attention-starved and found a way, via the web, to get what she needs. That’s not totally insane, is it? There are lots of lonely folks on the Internet–she happens to be an extremely business-savvy one (I mean, she must be doing something right if we’re still quacky enough to write about her).
Then of course, in the same interview, you read something like this:
“Right now, I’m trying to be the ambassador for Vietnam,” she says. “Like, ten years from now, I want to be the most respected woman, to be around presidents.“
And it’s really hard to think anything besides: THIS BITCH IS TOTALLY BATSHIT.
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