An Open Letter To Suri, From Maddox

December 4th, 2009 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana


Tot To Trot

Tot To Trot

“Eat this, Suri Cruise! I’m lookin’ fly on the red carpet! You think you’re so bad in your high heels? My sisters wear ties and hats and exercise pants and maxi dresses. And I am rocking this scarf and chapeau at the ‘Invictus’ premiere better than a veteran director at the Cannes film festival. You’ve been to Cannes, right? Wait–do you speak French yet? I do. I’ll translate: Cannes is French for “WE JOLIE-PITTS ARE SO MUCH COOLER THAN YOU.”

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10 Responses to “An Open Letter To Suri, From Maddox”

  1. jasmine says:

    Love this kid. Seriously, where did he get such an awesome hat?

  2. Diana says:

    Dad’s closet? That’s where Shiloh shops, I think.

  3. Cindy says:

    Kind of makes you believe Angelina’s claim that she and Maddox and chose one another.

  4. avplaya says:

    I truly feel for this kid. Hope he get addicted to anime and Korean girl-bands before his parent’s Massively Overwhelming White Privilege drives him off the cliff. Yes he’s a Hollywood celeb, but he’s also Asian. He will never make it in Hollywood, and I think even his parents knows this. I wish you all the best, poor little adopted Asian dude.

  5. Simon says:

    @avplaya: ?

    He’s adopted by two of the biggest names in pop culture. Even if he’s Asian, he will get by.

  6. Diana says:

    Um, this kid is a baller. “Get by?” Maddox is gonna take over the world.

  7. ellie says:

    of course he’s going to take over. he’s asian. he will lead the asian invasion

  8. Simon says:

    My statement was in response to avplaya’s less-than-optimistic hunch.

  9. avplaya says:

    I’m glad you guys are so optimistic. It’s hard enough to get any sense of self-love even being adopted by normal white people, but the two biggest one out there? They maybe the most privileged people the world has ever seen. How’s the fact that he will live forever under their shadow help him get by? Money ain’t the solution to everything, especially in a town of rich white folks. I will be happy to see him live to be a emotionally well-adjusted adult; Asian Invasion? Oh Please. I’m glad you guys have so much faith in him – I just hope he won’t end himself prematurely.

  10. farleyk says:

    I find the Suri pictures…disturbing. Do the douchebag paparazzi scum taking these ever actually look at the expression on the face of the kid they’re intruding on? She looks at best apprehensive, but more likely scared, very aware of the parasites.

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