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Holidaysians, Celebrasians, Donasians… And Giving The Gift Of Hyphen

Ladies and Gents, it’s been quite a year: Dubya left the building, Laura and Euna came back to us safely, Miley got goofy, Nadya Suleman lips got tabloid time, Kanye lost his hand, the Gosselins aired every last Garanimal of their dirty laundry, and Tiger Woods fell off his hookerbitch-lovin’ pedestal.

DISGRASIAN also got a makeover.

Frankly, we’re pooped. So we’re taking the rest of the year off for a little shaming break.

Time to go deal with important stuff!

Time to go deal with important stuff!


But before we go, we thought we’d mention our plans for celebrasian–which include a bit of donasian to Hyphen Magazine!

Alright, maybe we’re a little biased because they’ve spent some of their non-profit funds photographing us this year.  But we also believe in Hyphen–what they do and how they do it is an inspirasian to us all.

Continue reading Holidaysians, Celebrasians, Donasians… And Giving The Gift Of Hyphen

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Lieberman

Dear Joe Lieberman,

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Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Lieberman

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All I Want For Christmas Is… A $750 Cupcake

When I first read on Poketo that there was a $750 cupcake at the The Sweet Surrender Cupcake and Candy Shop in the newly-opened Palazzo of Las Vegas, I thought it sounded so stupid.

Cup o' Gold

Cup o' Gold

I mean, check out the pretentious and douchey description she pulled from LAist:

… A sumptuous cupcake, handcrafted from the most exclusive, rich, and enterprising ingredients around the globe. One main ingredient in Decadence D’Or is Palmira Single Estate Chocolate. This special chocolate varietal is derived from the rare and fragile Porcelana Criollo bean and cultivated to its fullest state of richness exclusively at the Valrhona plantation in Venezuela. Complementary to the Palmira Single Estate Chocolate is Tahitian Gold Vanilla Caviar- the world’s most labor-intensive agricultural crop. This fruit, after it is ripened for nine months, then hand-harvested, cured, sweat, dried, and hand-split, is obtained only Continue reading All I Want For Christmas Is… A $750 Cupcake

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D-I-V-O-R-C-E Spells Relief

I don’t smile when a marriage splits up. Breakups are sad and awful things, and the end of a marriage is hardly a joke–they are painful for too many parties, from the parents to the kids to the kids’ teachers to mutual friends to the restaurant managers that always give married couples a free dessert after dinner to bubbly dry cleaner ladies that love to ask about how the other half is doing. The only people that enjoy divorces are lonely, angry folks and lawyers.

This morning, I learned that Jon and Kate Gosselin, who we’ve all seen and talked about too much this year, have finally finalized their divorce.

Jon and Kate say, "Late."

Jon and Kate say, "Late."

By no means a happy thing, but perhaps it is cause for celebrasian… for us all. This divorce brings the horrible couple one step closer to finality–or at least to taking their idiotic conflict offline, hopefully forcing them to focus on what’s gonna neutralize all of the shit they’ve put their kids through rather than their childish back-and-forth.

Meanwhile, the rest of us can all take a deep breath and the necessary 14 seconds to forget they ever existed.

So CONGRATULASIANS, Jon and Kate. We all probably need to get some closure and move on.

[Celebrity Gossip: Jon And Kate Have Finalized Their Divorce]

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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Lindsay Lohan

How can one celebutard–who knows full well how closely her words are parsed–commit two Twit faux pas in one week?

She actually DID go India. Just not when the raids happened.

What we’re referring to is handing off her blackberry to a friend who apparently shouted out himself in no uncertain terms: Continue reading DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Lindsay Lohan

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Jerry Hsu

Happy 28th birthday today to pro boarder Jerry Hsu!


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This dude is the reason that Diana rides an Enjoi skateboard (poorly; with near-catastrophic drop-in attempts under her belt). Known fondly as Asian Elvis, he is not only a skate prodigy but a pretty sweet photographer, and one of our heroes.

Here’s hoping he ends up passed out in a pile of his own birthday vomit tonight! It’s the only way to celebrate.

[Epicly Later: Jerry Hsu Photo Gallery]

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What The Hell Are We Doing On The Cover Of Hyphen Magazine?

The last issue of Hyphen featured our heroine, Ms. Margaret Cho, on their cover.

A-M-A-Z-I-A-N!

The new one, Issue 19, bears a photograph of us.

Either we’re blowing all the right people, they’re out of ideas, or we’re all doing something right!

Continue reading What The Hell Are We Doing On The Cover Of Hyphen Magazine?

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ROCK OF ASIAN: The Predators

I’ll be honest. For about three weeks, when not busy playing Beatles Rock Band*, I’ve been dusting off old and also sorta-oldish punk albums, to give them a good spin–providing a soundtrack for the month’s chaos and all of my nervous holiday energy. 

“Punk” coming out of my speakers can mean a lot of things–sometimes the herky jerk of Bad Brains or Black Flag, sometimes a fun romp with the Ramones, Fugazi if I’m feeling fresh, Stooges if I’m not. And… okay. I’ve also been indulging my Orange County roots with bad 90′s power punk that will go unnamed to preserve my innocence.

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What I’d not even thought to entertain, at least until this week, were all of the fun Japanese punk bands that I meant to fall in love with twenty years ago but didn’t because I was in elementary school without an Internet connection. Take, for example,  The Predators, who I’m listening to right now (via MySpace recommendation by Japanese alt-veterans, The Pillows).

Continue reading ROCK OF ASIAN: The Predators

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We Waited For Alexa Chung To Go “Off The Air”

Brit “It” Fashionista Alexa Chung will host the final episode of her MTV talk show, “On the Air With Alexa Chung,” tomorrow.

Alexa, say goodbye to the intellectual giants of MTVs core audience

Alexa, say goodbye to the intellectual giants of MTVs core audience

And we suppose we’re sad about that, for her, because we love this saucy little broad.

Continue reading We Waited For Alexa Chung To Go “Off The Air”

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Why We Hate Olivia Munn

She’s smart. She’s brash. She’s funny.

Her first name is adorable, her last succinct and easy to pronounce.

She has more Twitter followers than we do.

Her nose freckles are cuter than Diana’s nose freckles.

She has a blog too, but she never complains about it–and she isn’t getting a furrowed brow and grey hair like we are.

Oh…

AND SHE LOOKS…

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Continue reading Why We Hate Olivia Munn

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BABEWATCH: Mason Ho

Name: Mason Ho

Hails from: North Shore of Hawaii

Occupation: Professional Surfer

Ho Ho Ho! Christmas must have come early.

Ho Ho Ho! Christmas must have come early.

Why He’s A Babe: Mad water skills and a great pedigree. Son of surf legend Michael Ho, Mason was clearly destined to chase the endless summer. A North Shore baby, Mason has been surfing since age 6 or 7, and has the achievements and body to prove it.

Although no longer in contention at Pipeline Masters, he made a splash last week in the early rounds of competition. But look, we didn’t exactly have our eyes on the swells.

[Surfer Hot 100: Mason Ho]

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Thanks, Colin!

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Lesson From Toby Keith: Nothin’ Sez Yellow Like A Goofy Face

What is UP with famous country folk and their love of doing the chink eye (see 1:25 of the clip)?






Not to generalize or whatever, but… isn’t that kinda what Toby’s doing here?

[TMZ: Toby Keith Adds Racist Slant To Nobel Party]

Thanks, Jasmine!

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