Tiger Woods Wants You To Step Off. Will You?

November 30th, 2009 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Tiger Woods’s domestic fiasco is undoubtedly the most exciting squabble of the holiday season so far! For those who missed it, the haiku wrap up is:

He maybe cheated
Elin his wife was so mad
Car crash and scandal

But if you need more details, TMZ has predictably posted the full play-by-play. They will continue to uncover every ugly detail, we’re sure!


Tiger and Elin: Privacy, Please

Tiger and Elin: Privacy, Please




Tiger released a statement on his website, kindly asking for the privacy “he deserves” while staying mum:

“As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.

This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.”

We certainly hope that Tiger gets his wish: The inquiring minds of these modern times will suddenly realize that celebrity scandals are not our territory, we all have more important things to think about–and lay off on the couple while they sort out their mess privately with apologies and diamonds.

We also hope that bad drivers will soon stay off of freeways, soft serve will stop melting so fast, daily fried chicken lunches won’t give us thunder thighs, the Isreali-Palestinian conflict will resolve itself quickly and painlessly, and idiots will stop posting comments on YouTube.

And we’ll keep on hoping.

[TMZ: Eyewitness Account Of Tiger Woods Accident]
[TigerWoods.com: Statement From Tiger Woods]

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2 Responses to “Tiger Woods Wants You To Step Off. Will You?”

  1. Friggles says:

    Okay, okay-Haiku:

    Swede wife club

    face

    Car endorsement

    laugh and die

  2. J. Vu says:

    Whoever is responsible for this Chinese-CGI-dramatization of the events ought to be named Amazian of the week.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5FlC1MpkE

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