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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! America’s Next Top Model And “Portraying” Race

Tyra Banks is the Mistress of Babble. She’s usurped the word “fierce” from drag queens and publicly abused it to the point that it’s been emptied of all meaning and packs the same linguistic punch as clearing one’s throat. Her biggest contribution to the English language, “smizing,” or “smiling with your eyes,” is a made-up modeling term that’s also a paradox, something she’s defined in the past as “squinting with your eyes open” (and something that I happen to really suck at).

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Her crazy talk extends beyond modeling to the “social” ideas she explores on both her talk show and America’s Next Top Model. Remember when she put on a fat suit for a day to understand what it was like to be the victim of what she called the “last form of open discrimination that’s okay”? Or when she had the Cycle 10 ANTM contestants “do” homeless, posing with real-life homeless youth, and told the models she understood what it was like to live on the streets because she (again) did it for a day on her talk show?

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DISGWITTER OF THE WEAK! Levi Johnston’s Wang

Levi Johnston’s life is finally catching up to his porn star-looks.

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The 19 year-old’s been tapped to pose for Playgirl (they still publish Playgirl?) on November 16, and judging by his Twitter page, he’s getting paid $35,000 to do so:

Levi Johnston's Wang

And the question is…

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Scotty Nguyen

Happy 47th birthday to Scotty Nguyen!

Poker Playa

Poker Playa

Nguyen is one of those dudes that my parents would never associate with publicly, because he drinks and smokes and curses and does drugs and has lost his fortune over and over again as a direct result of his vices.

But deep down, I know they love him. After all, he’s Vietnamese, and he’s such a consistent winner. Any time a Nguyen is winning in Vegas, my mom is happy.

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Taylor Swift’s Swastika Buddy

This photo just emerged from Katy Perry’s recent Willy Wonka-themed birthday bash, which displays the adorably squinty-eyed Taylor Swift and this clever gentleman:

Who should be slapped first?

Who should be slapped first?

Whoopsie!

TMZ reports that Swift’s rep had a reasonable explanation for the faux-to pas: “Taylor took pictures with about 100 people that night … she doesn’t know who this guy is and she didn’t realize what was on his shirt.”

OH. That makes sense to us. After all, it’s very difficult to notice a GIANT, RED, FUCKIN’ SWASTIKA ON THE FRONT OF SOMEONE’S GODDAMN SHIRT. Especially when you’re busy celebrating!

[TMZ: Taylor Swift Embraces The Swastika]

Source

Thanks, Jasmine!

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The Subtlety Of Subtle Sexuality

Subtle Sexuality

Subtle Sexuality

The Office has launched a new 3-part web series featuring Subtle Sexuality, the girl band project of Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling) and Erin Hannon (Ellie Kemper). The band’s debut track, as you learn in webisode 1, documents Kapoor’s feelings about colleague Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak): ““You know when you love a guy, but he’s giving you mixed signals, but you know he really likes you, and you’re sleeping together?”–and is (naturally) called “Male Prima Donna.”

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GAYSIAN

Fun.

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Yellowface

When a non-yellow person wears geisha make-up or slanty eyeliner while speaking mangled English. See also, Racial Drag.

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Uncle Tam

Yellow Uncle Tom.

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Samurite

White Samurai who is typically the only person on Earth capable of saving innocent Japanese villagers from evil warlords and marauders.

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RICISM

Racism against, among, and for rice eaters.

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Racial Drag

Accoutrement and/or affect donned by one race to mimic another. Example: when a white girl wears chopsticks in her hair.

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Racial Dilettante

A person who dabbles in the affect of another race or races (see Racial Drag), particularly when that race is “IN.”

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