Jon Gosselin: Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into Anywhere Else

September 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


“Fame” whore Kate Major (one of Jon Gosselin’s many post-8 conquests) went for minute sixteen this week, as she yapped to news outlets about the romantic affair that the reality dad has refuted.

From MSNBC:

“’I will take a lie detector test and I would love for Jon to take a lie detector test because for him to say there was no romance is a complete lie,’ Major tells HLN’s ‘Showbiz Tonight’ in an interview set to air Wednesday night… I think I was in lust with him, but no, I didn’t love him,’ she says, adding, ‘I despise him.’

Jeesh, I thought in rambles as I read the above quote just before drifting off to Sleepyland last night. Lots of despisin’ goin’ on around that dude. They should just change the show name to ‘Jon and Kate and Everyone We Hate.’ Ha! Good one, me (yawn)! Everyone’d be puffy and semi-hideous on that show and they’d just be hatin’ on haters. What the hell is it with that dude (yawn) anyway? I don’t fucking get it. He seriously much have the dick of the centuryzzZZZzzz…

Then, last night, I had dream that I was in love with Jon Gosselin.

We walked in the park. We cuddled in a back seat. We relaxed on a blanket on the shore.

And he was wonderful! He didn’t talk; in fact, his head wasn’t even really a head–it was more of a watermelon, and then it was a blurry blob, and then it was Ted Danson’s head. But I knew it was Jon.

Ooh! And he was so warm. So warm and soft. His whole body was soft, like one of those memory foam pillows. He was a wonderful, fat, squooshy, puffy pillow.

I loved him.

No wait, I despised him. But I loved him.

Um.

I THINK I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM READING THIS SHIT. FOR REAL.

[MSNBC: Kate Major 'Despises' Jon Gosselin]

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