The Dissolving Bikini: A Foolproof Revenge Plan!

August 21st, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

A German company has invented a “Get Naked Bikini” that dissolves in water and is being marketed, according to Spike, as a “revenge” tool for “recently-dumped guys.”


Feminists in Germany are upset about it, with one saying, “It is an absolute insult to women that this has been invented.”

But, ladies. Let’s think this one through:


Girl dumps Boy.

Boy wants revenge.

Boy calls up Girl, says, “Can we talk?”

Girl goes over to Boy’s house.

Instead of talking, Boy proposes that he and Girl go for a swim/take a hot tub.

Girl agrees, because swimming/taking a hot tub with her ex is so much less awkward than talking.

Boy offers Girl a bikini.

Girl puts on the bikini, because there is nothing strange about her ex suddenly offering her a bikini.

Because Girl doesn’t care where that bikini might have been.

And Girl doesn’t care about donning a random bikini that might not fit or might not be flattering, because Girls aren’t obsessively particular about how they look in a bikini.

And Girl knows that thong bikinis, in particular, are not only for hot Brazilians, hot supermodels, or hot Brazilian supermodels.

And because it’s not a red flag for Girl to put on a bikini that was just laying around her ex’s house, as Boys always keep extra bikinis around their places, just like they keep tampons and Midol in their bathrooms.

Because Girl, who–let’s remember–dumped Boy, wants nothing more than to strut around in a bikini in front of her ex, a thong bikini no less, just like she wants nothing more than to blow him all night long.

Girl gets into pool/hot tub with Boy.

Girl’s borrowed bikini dissolves in the water.

Boy laughs–Oh, Sweet Revenge!

Girl, who, to wit, has already put on a random bikini her ex had laying around the house, pranced around in a thong that rode up her crack and that she never worried made her ass look fat, got into a pool/hot tub with Boy she dumped who has seen her naked a zillion times, suddenly becomes shy and Victorian and is abjectly humiliated.

Boy marvels at his ingenious plan.

The way I see it, if revenge-seeking misogynists are this dumbass, women really have nothing to worry about.

Check out how the dissolving bikini works here.

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