Listen up, Moonfaces. If you, like me, always have to, as Tyra would say, “know your angles” in photographs (i.e. never ever give full-frontal mug), and your face tends to resemble a jelly donut when you have a hangover, are retaining water, didn’t get enough sleep, didn’t have time to put on make-up, or have packed on a couple pounds, there is a Japanese beauty product for you. It’s called the Face Slimmer and looks like the bastard offspring of an alien life-form who came to Earth and raped a hockey mask.
The Frisky reports on how the Face Slimmer works:
First, it melts the fat off your face by massaging your facial dermis…Then, the sweat produced from the poorly-ventilated mask combined with the sweat from your chubby cheeks acts as a sauna.
Which sounds hella dubious, but think of it this way: if the thing doesn’t work, you can always use it to scare the bejeezus out of your annoying neighbors.
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