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Utterly Useless but So Effing Cute

Bon week-end!

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Mr. Prom Queen

In a week when we felt ashamed to be Californian because of our Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage, there was one grace note: Fairfax High School, which is right down the street from where I live, elected its first openly gay male Prom Queen. His name is Sergio Garcia, he has meticulously-tweezed brows, and he knows how to work his skinny jeans.

Fairfax HS Prom Queen Sergio Garcia

Although his running for Queen began as a stunt, Sergio soon realized that it was the title that really suited him. In a speech he made to the senior class before the prom, he said, “I will be wearing a suit, but don’t be fooled, deep down inside, I am a queen!” Senior class president Vanessa Lo told the LA Times that many students, herself included, were won over by that speech when they realized Sergio wasn’t just doing this for attention.

“It just goes to show how open-minded our class is,” Lo said.

Indeed. Now keep those minds open, kids, and don’t forget to use the power of your vote again in 2010, when the fate of many many more queens will be up to you.

[LA Times: Fairfax High's prom queen is a guy]


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The Difference Between Being a Hardass Parent and a C U Next Tuesday

Conversation that took place recently between me and my Hardass Asian Mama:

HAM: You know, there is another side to this Hardass Asian Parent thing.

ME: (all ears) Yeah?

HAM: I mean, yes, there are Hardass Asian Parents, but there are also Hardass Asian…Children. And Hardass Asian Children can be as bad as the parents. They can be just as critical and show disapproval, and don’t you think we’re afraid of that, too?

ME: (LMFAO) Uh, and where do you think we learned that from?!

I can’t say for sure, because I’m not yet a parent, but I am of the general belief that, if your kid’s a cunt, you’re a cunt. Sure, there are random cunts that can’t be accounted for, but usually, you can trace cunty behavior back to a Cunty Dearest. I thought of this yesterday when I read that Candy Spelling recently blamed the death of her husband and TV legend, Aaron Spelling, on their daughter Tori, in a radio interview. Aaron Spelling, who passed away in 2006 at age 83, was diagnosed with oral cancer in 2001 and suffered a stroke right before he died.

I’m no fan of Tori (although I couldn’t help watching every episode of her VH1 sitcom, So NoTORIous, a few years back, for some reason). Donna Martin was a drip. And Tori’s career is the product of the most egregious kind of nepotism. I’ll never understand, either, why all the money in the world can’t straighten that nose job or plug up that bizarre keyhole she has between her fake breasteses.

But publicly saying that her not speaking to her father is “what killed (him)”? That’s not Hardass. That’s not even possible. That’s just being a bad fucking parent.


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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Lai Jiansheng, aka The Bridge Pusher

There was some discussion at DISGRASIAN HQ this week over the actions of the Bridge Pusher, the dude in Guangdong province who pushed a suicidal man from a bridge (onto a partially-inflated, emergency air cushion).

The entire incident was captured on video:

Yes, the suicidal man, Chen Fuchao, who became despondent when he fell into heavy debt, survived with minor injuries. Sure, he had been holding up traffic for five hours. Maybe, you could even argue that the Bridge Pusher, Lai Jiansheng, 66, was simply getting shit done, shit that the police would’ve eventually done themselves.

But what the Bridge Pusher told Xinhua after the incident puts it in a far more chilling context:

I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interest,” Lai said. “They do not really dare to kill themselves.

Does it sound to you like Lai kinda wanted the suicidal guy to off himself? And that he thought Chen was a pussy for not going through with it? What, we wonder, would have happened if Chen had been contemplating suicide on some bridge in the middle of nowhere, and Lai just happened to walk by? Would he have “dared” him to hurry up and kill himself already? We shudder to think.

[AP: Suicidal man in China gets push off bridge after blocking traffic for hours, survives]

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Let’s Get Non-Rowdy

We’re not surprised that writer Cintra Wilson, shopping for the NY Times Style section last week, felt out of place during her visit to Derek Lam‘s flagship house of luxe on Crosby Street in NYC’s SoHo. After all, let’s be honest. Few would.

But we’ve been struggling for days to figure out why Wilson, while characterizing Lam’s high-cotton world (and rather resentfully so), also took this sideways potshot at his “Eastern” demographic:

“Mr. Lam’s flagship is his version of that genteel world where the rich are still as spoiled and sheltered as they ever were; his customer is a precious orchid, lovingly tended and exhibited under his enormous acrylic bell.

This recipe for femininity looks, to me, as if it is aimed toward a stereotypical Hong Kong billionaire’s wife. The clothes evoke a demure, under-control, decidedly non-rowdy (read: non-Western) type of woman who appreciates her role as an ornament of great value, and sits prettily and quietly in Gulfstream jets.”

Funnily enough, Jen and I are actually quite familiar with a Hong Kong billionaire woman or two. And let me tell y’all, those bitchez iz crazay! They’re not demure, nor under-control, nor “decidedly non-rowdy” (gosh, the more I think about it, the more Wilson’s description seems fitting of Kate Gosselin).

…So does that make them, um, Western?

[NY Times: Critical Shopper - Luxury in a Bell Jar]

Thanks, Livia!

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File Under: Other Cuts

This week, the UK’s Metro featured this photo of Wang Xiaoyu, a barber from Changsha, in China’s Hunan Province. A nearly two-decade veteran of martial arts training, Wang is apparently attempting to attract more customers by doing haircuts while in a headstand.

We do not envy the head rush he’ll experience when he shows her the back

Err… we don’t exactly see the allure, but maybe he gives a helluva bang trim.

[via DListed]
[Metro: I Could Do This Standing On My Head]


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Nobody has more respect for a great chef than DISGRASIAN. We love to eat. We love to eat well. We love to eat well frequently.

So it is with deep love and admirasian that we salute Chef Masaharu Morimoto–famous for his brilliance at Matsuhisa’s Nobu and his own Morimoto restaurants, his presence on Iron Chef and Iron Chef America, his line of brews, fabulous cookbooks, and so much more.

Morimoto turned 54 this week, and we wish him the greatest of years! Here’s hoping he continues to bring tummy joy to the world for 54 more.

[Chef Morimoto - Official Site]

Thanks, Jen!

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Tila Tequila Is a Smart, Coherent, NY Times-Reading, Possible Party-Switching Beheaded Martyr

I think it’s wonderful that Tila Tequila is finally doing something with her celebrity, by appearing in a NoH8 PSA released this week in response to the CA Supreme Court’s disappointing ruling on Prop 8 and blogging her support for gay marriage (for which she has received quite a bit of grief, see below).

Does this signal the dawn of a new-and-improved Tila Tequila? Well, after reading Tila’s blog post, “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” and her Tweets that followed, I can confidently conclude the following:


The first thing I did was make a few tweets about it on my twitter page( Immediately, I received an outpouring response from angry people. I felt as though I was being burnt as stake or beheaded for voicing my opinions, and I still stand tall in my beliefs. I guess times have not changed much because I very much so believe that this is TODAY’s version of “beheading” someone. Some people even had the nerve to call me “RACIST” for whatever their reasoning is just because I was disapointed in PRESIDENT OBAMA in his decisions for not supporting Gay Marriages.from Tila’s post, “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” reposted to Global Grind


Now may I ask you all, what is the point of being in the “PUBLIC EYE” if you don’t have a voice or use that medium and take advantage of that outlet to speak your mind? I am not trying to harm anyone, nor am I trying to start a War. I am simply trying to voice my opinions on why I believe it is important for all human beings to have Equal rights. No where else in this world can I come to a new country as an immigrant, and yet be able to build a platform for myself, becoming an AMERICAN CITIZEN and having the ULTIMATE AMERCAN DREAM! Where else in this world can I enjoy such fresh freedom such as I do here? Only in AMERICA!from “My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation,” reposted to Global Grind





Wait, what were we talking about here? Something having to do with gay marriage? I got so distracted thinking about martyrs, beheadings, Joan of Arc, the fact that I haven’t read the NY Times today (unlike some other very smart people), and tooting one’s own horn, I totally spaced on the real subject at hand.

[Global Grind: "My Thoughts on Prop 8 Situation.."]
[Tila Tequila Official Twitter Feed]

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HONORASIAN ALERT: U.S. Supreme Court Nominee Sonia Sotomayor

After the Sonia Sotomayor nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court was announced yesterday, a few of you wondered if Sotomayor, who is of Puerto Rican descent, wasn’t a little bit Asian. And who could blame you, really? Her eyes are kinda Asian. Her bio–immigrant parents, high school valedictorian, Princeton summa cum laude, Yale Law, bootstraps–is certainly Asian. She has the word “honorable” in her title (and, for that matter, she has a title). But it wasn’t until our pal Jeff Chang sent us this photo of Sotomayor and her twin nephews Conner and Corey (who were apparently born in Korea), that we knew for sure:

I mean, c’mon. The peace sign is a DEAD. GIVEAWAY.


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Bikinis and Coffee: Best Pairing Since Bananas and Blow

Our friend Raymond sent over this local Fox News piece, broadcast live (no idea why) from one of Garden Grove, CA’s newest and hottest Vietnamese alternatives to Starbucks: Cafe Di Vang 2.

I know what y’all expect from me: an angry, shame-filled tirade. I know, I know… there’s so much innuendo in this news piece alone–Vietnamese ladies in “high heels and revealing outfits?” Providing “quality service?” Plenty scandalous. Probably pretty bad for the collective rep of my peeps. Hey, these comfort cafes are nothing new in Little Saigon. But whatever.

All I’ve got to say is wow, they can get dudes in these economic times to pay 6 bucks for a smoothie and $4 for a nonrefillable coffee? Dayum, these ladies must be doing something right. Whatever that something may be.

[MyFoxLA: The New Sexy Vietnamese Cafes]

Thanks, Raymond!

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The Japanese Toilet Paper Novella–Scary as Sh*t?

Let me ask you, when you hear the words “horror experience in the toilet,” what comes to mind? The public restrooms at Port Authority? The morning after a Sichuanese or Southern Thai food binge? A snake taking a bite out of your penis while you’re on the crapper?

“Horror experience in the toilet” is actually how Drop, the new novella of Koji Suzuki, author of Ringu, is being marketed. The whole story is printed on toilet paper, takes place in a public restroom, and can be read in a few minutes. Because what better place is there to get the shit scared out of you than the turlet, right?

Thanks, Jasmine!

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Jose Canseco vs. Hong Man Choi: At 76 Seconds, It Lasted Longer Than We Expected

Jose Canseco fought 330-lb., 7’2″, Korean kickboxer Hong Man Choi in his first Mixed Martial Arts fight, yesterday in Tokyo. Frankly, we thought it went pretty well! See for yourself:

Seriously–damn, dude. If we were Canseco, we’d have spent that minute-plus running around the ring like a scared little girl, too.

[Yahoo!: Canseco Lasts 76 Seconds With Korean Giant Before Tapping Out]
[Sporting News: Canseco's MMA Match Ends as You'd Expect]

Thanks, Micah!

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