Joe Jonas: "Look Me in the Chink-Eyes"

March 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


Oh, Joe. Not you too. Now I’m gonna have to throw out my Jonas Brothers records along with my Miley Cyrus records. What’s left to listen to? Radiohead?! Not. Fair. Because I love you guys. I do, I really do. Midgets are magical creatures, like unicorns. And, no, it’s not a sexual thing, because I wear a purity ring just like you. I, too, think I’m better than everyone else and want to save myself for marriage. But if you’re better than everyone else, Joe, why this?


Why disappoint your fans? Why not stick to doing what you do best, and by that I mean wearing scarves and trimming your bushy eyebrows so they don’t grow down into your eyes? Your pretty, pretty, un-slanty eyes. (Actually, come to think of it, a lot of people think you have slanty eyes.) But, but…where was I? Your eyes. Right. Your pretty eyes make my giney tickle. No, I didn’t mean that. I will stay pure, even if you don’t. Yes, I did. God, I’m so confused! What do I believe in anymore? What’s next? Are you really even a virgin? Can I honestly believe that you and Camilla Belle haven’t done the nasty? What if that purity ring is like Britney’s vow to keep her cherry until marriage, in other words, a big fat lie? What if everything about you and your brothers is one big fat lie? What if you’re not really these squeaky-clean nice guys, and you’re actually d-bags? How do I know that you don’t like porn and have herpes and really like making out with other guys? Are you and your brothers really even midgets? Do you like smoking marijuana? Oh, Joe. I hate this feeling. I do. My giney is so not tickling for you right now. So. Not.

Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

karatekid

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.

Peter-Beste9

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Peace.

2013-03-29-01-01

If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Wannabe.

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!

bfbutt

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.

ama_psy_and_hammer_this_one_0

Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?

dj-twinkie2-blog480

RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!