Fear of a Yellow Planet
The folks over at Gizmodo recently discovered, with the help of Google Suggest, that there seem to be an unusual amount of folks searching the Web for the subject: “I am extremely terrified of Chinese people.”
Curious, right? Fortunately, our friend Phil over at Angry Asian Man did a bit of debunking homework, digging up the most likely source for the popular search: an article entitled “I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People” on the satirical site Christwire.
Still, before I knew about the article, I wondered, are Chinese people actually so scary? Moreover, could I possibly be scared of Chinese people? Well, I told myself, Jen is the Chinese person I know best. But despite her sharp tongue and freaky-brilliant mind, she’s the most fun, kind, genuine, warm, generous, honest, caring person I know. What’s so terrifying about that? I can’t possibly fear Chinese people!
Jen also has–and I’m sure I’ve talked about this before–one of the most exquisite closets I’ve ever walked into, and she is eager to loan me a frock faster than a person can check out a library book (See? Very not-scary). She never asks for anything in return, and I always watch over the dresses as if they were my own child.
But (here is where my mind wanders) y’know what, if something were ever to happen–like an ungodly splash of wine, a drycleaning mishap, or somebody’s cigarette ash on my sleeve…
OH GOD. I. WOULD BE. SO INCREDIBLY TERRIFIED. OF ONE. VERY SPECIFIC. CHINESE PERSON. AND HER. VERY ANGRY. ANGRY. EYES.
So yeah, um, I guess it’s possible.
Source Source Source
Thanks, Abe and Phil!
Filed under: Fear, Google Rules, I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People, Pretty Dresses, Satire, Strange Web Searches, Weird World Behavior
