Some of you definitely think I’m crazy to care, I’m sure–and you’re like, “Diana, dude. That chick is obvs a sassy Latina! And why are you trying to lay claim, anyway?”
I’ll tell you, I’ve eyed the wretched faces of the poor gals on R.O.L. for three seasons now, and most of those mugs would make a baby cry (save for Jes and Brandi M.)–Brittanya is one of the very rare non-fuggles. I’d be happy to claim her. Excepting the fact that she PIERCED BOTH OF THE DIMPLES IN HER CHEEKS, THE OTHERWISE CUTEST ELEMENTS OF HER FACE, she’d be rather adorable if she’d simply crack open the Cetaphil and rinse off all of that hideo eye makeup.
Fo’ realz, I’ve kinda crossed my fingers that my Jungle Asian Eagle Eye is up to snuff and that Miss Brittanya is actually a pretty in purple Pinay, or a lady with a little Laotian in her. It’s totally possible.
Well, I thought it was possible, until viewing this week’s episode of Bus, in which Brittanya confesses during a taxing game of “R U Smarter than a Rock Star” that she “is not that smart.”
After quickly realizing that she a) R Not Smarter than a Rock Star and b) is never going to be able to answer any of the game’s brain-benders correctly, she simply ambles over to Bret in her short shorts and starts sucking his tonsils out. Heyyoo!
Not smart? Definitely not Asian. But Brittanya is, without question, a brilliant contender for Bret Michaels’ heart. Mark my words–Don’t be surprised if you see this hot bitch, whatever her ethnic makeup, in the final three.
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