More Procreasian

January 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Today, Intern Jasmine told us (via The Frisky) that, in the face of a slumping economy and a threatening low for the country’s birth rate, some bosses in Japan are encouraging their employees to leave work early… to go home and procreate.

First, my kneejerk reaction: Oh my gaw! This concept is so awesome: Lessen the workday and jack up the sexday! Sign me up! Why don’t I work in Tokyo? How can I get a job at Canon in Tokyo? I don’t know much about cameras, but I’m a fast learner…

My next thought, however: Oh shit, man, procreating isn’t just about doing it. I’m not too psyched about that jazz. Babies scare the bejeezus out of me. Let somebody else make babies. Is there still any way to get off early (har har) to increase the sex day?

And then, of course, my concluding thought: Yikes. It appears, now that the regular football season is over, that Jessica Simpson is getting laid again...

Hi! Where’s my waist?

…is this mess what happens when you work less and screw more? If so, I just can’t afford to roll like that. Furthermore, I don’t have enough unflattering high-waisted pants to keep up with such a lifestyle! I’m staying in America.

Fuck the sex day. Figuratively speaking, that is.

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