January 16th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’ve been looking forward to seeing Tim Bui’s new film, Owl and the Sparrow–already being heralded as a critical darling–for some time now. It’s right up my alley (an irreverent love story set in Modern-day Saigon, directed by a Saigon-born OC brat, sign me up!), and I must admit that I’m sliiiiiightly devastated that I missed this week’s Orange County premiere and its ensuing after-party at Vietnamese-America’s Isreal, Bolsa Avenue.

I was suprised to see that Tila Tequila signed up to do a promotional viral video for the film. Wowee zowee, I thought to myself. What does this mean? Does Tila Nguyen really exist? And does she have a heart of gold? And does she want to reprzent for our peeps? And does she love indie films? Maybe we could kick it at the Laemmle Sunset 5 sometime!

I would give my left nut to find some common ground with this bitch. I mean, I hate on her a lot. But I don’t want to have to! I want to find some redeeming quality about my fellow Nguyen and the only Vietnamese sub-lebrity that any blogger gives a hard-on about, so that I can simply rest my hateful, blogging fingertips, knock back some Macallan 12, rock out on Guitar Hero, and call it a night.

I watched Tila’s promotional video with an open mind, if not a bias towards supporting it. Actually–here, you watch:

Guys, I don’t know what to tell ya, but I actually believe that Tila may have the SADIM touch; that is, instead of gold, everything she touches turns to a huge steaming pile of shit. I know that Tila had her heart in the right place when she acted (terribly) in this senseless piece of turd. But it doesn’t matter. She’s terrible to watch. Listening to her robotic speech and disconnected acting gives me awful shivers. Her wretchedness is distracting: What movie was this cross-promoting? I can’t remember; I just slit my wrists to end my own suffering.

I’m not sure how good intentions could go so awry, but they do, especially when someone has the SADIM touch. Think I’m crazy? It’s happened to her before.

Hey, I may never find my common ground with Ms. Tequila, but I do respect the fact that we both gave it the ol’ college try.

View the Owl and the Sparrow official trailer here.

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