Ladies and gents, allow us to present…”Prop 8 – The Musical“!
I’m glad they mentioned the book of Leviticus, which is always the book I think of when fundamentalist Christians talk about every single word in the Bible being “God-breathed” (an idea from the second book of Timothy in the New Testament). It’s like, have you read Leviticus lately? Yeah, it might speak against homosexuality, but it also says that wearing two different kinds of fiber woven together–like wool mixed with linen–is wrong, so you’re gonna have to burn almost everything in your closet, along with the gays, if you believe it. Also, I’ve only ever known Orthodox Jews to follow Leviticus religiously, i.e. to the letter, unless the subject of homosexuality comes up, and then suddenly, conservative Christians are ALL UP IN that Old Testament book, even while they’re snacking on cloven-hoofed animals and wearing their cotton/cashmere sweaters.
I have a personal bone to pick with the pick-and-choose interpretation of Leviticus as well. As some of you know, I grew up in a conservative, religious town in Texas, and I went to five years of Southern Baptist church camp, because, like, that’s what the cool kids did, not to mention my very best friends. One summer at camp, when I was 15, my friends and I were up late talking, when somehow the conversation took a wrong turn–as late-night teenage girl-talk always seems to do–and suddenly we were talking about dating, and the “rules” of dating, and the book of Leviticus. And how in Leviticus, it said you couldn’t mate a cow with a sheep (“Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind,” Leviticus 19:19). At which point they all turned to look at me, the only non-white person in the room. We cow, you sheep, they were saying, guiltily fluttering their clumpy, mascaraed eyelashes.
It wasn’t the first or last time I’d been told explicitly that I was not One of Them, but it was certainly one of the most memorable. Only later did I realize that they were right. They were cows alright, and I, I was definitely not one of them.
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