The Morning-After Pill

November 5th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

I don’t know what to do with myself today. I went to bed last night drunk for Change (or on, I don’t remember which)–on martinis, champagne, red wine, and beer, in that order–believing that I would have a good night’s sleep for the ages. It’s astonishing that I didn’t wake up at 7:45 this morning with a hangover. Well, I did, actually, but not from the alcohol.

Where do we go from here, I wonder? Yes, I’m already worried about the future. Not only in the global sense (the financial crisis, Iraq, why America still hates the gays), but personally, too. What am I going to think about now? What am I going to hope and dream and pray for? (I don’t actually pray, but I feel like obsessive thinking + wishing for the same thing every day for six months is a close approximation.) What is going to inspire me more than my hair-ripping hatred of Sarah Palin? After this election, can I get it up ever again to, say, muse about something trivial like Tila Tequila’s wonky balloon tits?

I’ve spent all morning looking at pictures of people crying trying to locate my own emotions. Don’t get me wrong–I’m excited. I know we just witnessed history, the likes of which I never expect to see again in our lifetime. I just don’t know what to do with all of this historicity, much less with the rest of my day. I don’t even know what I want for lunch. Shouldn’t I be feeling more joy and elation? Because Barack not only inspired Americans to vote, he inspired a cultural shift among people of my generation, people who seem to have radically transformed in a short amount of time from being ironic, ambivalent, snarky douchebags who only cared about the aesthetics of politics and current events to earnest, emo, touchy-feely douchebags who cry all the time about everything because it all matters so damn much dammit.

Hey, look! I found one thing that hasn’t changed! People are still douchebags. And if people are still douchebags, our work at DISGRASIAN is never done. Oh good. I find strange comfort in that. There’s only so much change a girl can take all at once.


Filed under: , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen



If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen


Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!


Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.


Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?


RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!