Hollywood actresses! Past, present, and never:
at Wednesday’s Alberta Ferreti store opening
LUCY: Wait–dammit. They’re taking a picture? Everyone will think I know you people.
NICOLE: You know us. Remember that one night we stayed up doing tequila shots, talking shit about Rachel Zoe?
MARISA: I know Rachel Zoe.
LUCY: No you don’t.
MARISA: Yes I do! I think I met her right after I won [dips head and deepens voice in seriousness] my Oscar.
NICOLE: Wow! You won an Oscar? Wow. That’s really hot. I didn’t know that.
MARISA: Everybody knows that. Didn’t you see My Cousin Vinny?
NICOLE: That’s the movie with the bad guy from Home Alone, right? I think I saw that on TBS the other day.
MARISA: Ahem. I won the Academy Award for my role as [pauses] Mona Lisa Vito. For [raises eyebrows] Best Supporting Actress.
LUCY: [rolls eyes] Uh huh.
NICOLE: Rad. When was that, or whatever?
MARISA: Feels like yesterday. Maybe it was 2000 or 2001.
LUCY: [snorts] It was 1992.
MARISA: [snaps] In 1992, you were still doing bit parts on TV dramas.
LUCY: At least people don’t speculate as to whether or not my getting those bit parts was an accident, you old hag.
MARISA: (miffed) I WON FAIR AND SQUARE.
NICOLE: Who did you wear?
MARISA: [to Lucy] You’re a real bitch, you know that?
LUCY: Yes. That’s why I play one so often in movies and TV shows.
NICOLE: God, I need to get back on TV again. I hate being at home and remembering that I procreated with a Madden twin. I hate all this baby holding bullshit. I hate having tits.
LUCY: Love those bubs while you can, Nic–they’re going to be all deflated and saggy when you get to be like ol’ grandma over here.
MARISA: I AM NOT A GRANDMA!
LUCY: Really? Then why are you borrowing my grandma’s look?
NICOLE: Oh, shit!
MARISA: I’ll kill you!
LUCY: Don’t even start. I’ll cut you.
NICOLE: Wow. Are you guys, like, acting?
LUCY: Somebody take this goddamn picture before I cut somebody else.
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