Parental Infiltrasian
The NYT printed an article this week about an east coast high school in Jericho, NY, which is currently focusing its efforts on integrating and easing the road in for reluctant Asian parents that otherwise wouldn’t engage in much extracurricular school involvement (i.e. organizing PTA meetings, attending sports games and orchestra concerts–and not just the “important” ones!), all for the better education of the kids.
This–this just isn’t fair, okay? It just is not. I wanted my parents to help organize the homecoming bake sale. I wanted my mom to hold my hand through cheerleading tryouts. I wanted my parents to buy football swag and come with me to games and raise money for grad night and trade calls with my student council advisor. I wanted them to cheer for my performance in the school musical instead of just showing up to watch me accept shameful awards, to hand me Gatorade during Thursday afternoon cross-country races and not just show up to watch me humiliate myself during the 3200-meter Track and Field district championships. I wanted them to witness my Tony-award-worthy winter lip sync performance, even though they might not have been all that impressed by my ball-change-repeat-hop-two-and-kick move to the tune of “Bust A Move.” I wanted my AP Lit teacher to be like, “Oh my goodness, your mother is a doll!” instead of, “Wow. Your dad is… very different from you. Cool cucumber, eh?”
URGH!!!!!! IF I HAVE TO GROW UP WITH PITY-PARTY PARENT ISSUES, SO DO THESE JOKERS. I WILL NOT SUFFER ALONE!
Goddammit, I hope somebody’s mom finds weed in their locker.
Filed under: Bake Sales, Disappointing Your Children, Hardass Asian Parents, Issues Shmissues, Misery Loves Company, Pity Parties, Weed, Whateva
