Leaked Emails Are the Windows to the Soul

November 13th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Typically, leaked emails expose people as the dumbasses that they really are. Like the one written by a Hollywood assistant who mistakenly thought Rosh Hoshanah was a person. Or the one written by a celebutard publicist who called director Wim Wenders “Vin Bender” and chewed out a writer for bothering the publicist with questions when “it’s Oscar week, for god’s sake.” (Oops! My bad. That’s from my own inbox. Ah well–consider it now leaked!)

Emails are often windows to the soul–the lesser, bitchier, un-spellchecked soul. This is why most people need Mail Goggles, an ego to the id. Barack’s little sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng, needs no such thing, however. In a post-election email sent to close friends that was leaked to Time, she wrote of her brother’s victory:

“I wept tears of joy for all of us on Tuesday. He may not be a perfect man. Certainly, he has often said that he’ll likely be an imperfect President, but he is a good man, a smart man, a disciplined soul who balances temperance with determination and courage. We’ve made a great choice, I assure you.”

And on the fact that her beloved grandmother’s death and the election of her brother happened within days of each other:

“There’s a wide swatch of emotion cutting through me, sometimes swirling, never simple … a briny mixture of elation, sadness, determination, regret, pride, hope, fatigue.”

Um, wow. After reading that, I’m feeling a briny mixture of HolyCrapILoveYourProseStylings and CanIBeYourNumberOneFanOrYourBestFriendWhateverWorksForYou and HopefullyMyLoveForYouMayaSoetoroNgIsn’tTooCreepy.

Also, PleasePleaseWriteABookIWantMoreThankYouThatIsAllForNow.

Thanks, Jasmine!

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