COURTENAY: I thought we were broken-up. Didn’t I cheat on you or something?
TILA: Hahahahahaha! You’re so funny! That’s why I love you! My girlfriend’s got jokes! Smile for the paps! Make it look real! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!
COURTENAY: This is getting a little old, don’t you think? By the way, your dress reminds me of a trash bag. I sorta want to dump my receipts and purse-lint into it.
TILA: Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday, dear Tila–
COURTENAY: What, what are you doing with my hair?
TILA: I’m playing with it because you’re my girlfriend. And that’s what girlfriends do. Partaaaaaaaaaaaay! We’re having so much fun! (loudly, to the assembled crowd) I JUST CAN’T WAIT TO TAKE THIS GIRL HOME AND LICK HER PUSSYYYYYYYYYY! Yum yum!
COURTENAY: Wow. I thought I was a publicity whore. But I’m starting to think that this is really beneath me. You do know that no one believes you’re gay, right?
TILA: When I play with your hair, nobody notices that your eyes are crossed! Yippeeeeeeee!
COURTENAY: Sigh. (to the paps) Do you guys mind taking the picture? I’d like to finish this up, then go home, draw a nice warm bath, put on some Sarah McLachlan, slit my wrists lengthwise, and call it a day, okay?
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