My Bank Wants to Eat Me Up? Huh?!

October 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

This morning, we received the headline,“BoA Wants to Eat You Up,” from a reader, and I panicked. I immediately thought, “But, but…I already bank with them. Not that I have anything in my checking account anyway, but. This must mean Bank of America is eating up another bank. Didn’t they just buy Merrill for $50 bazillion? If they buy more financial institutions, is this good for me? At least they’re not going under. Which means I’m not going under. Right, focus on the positive. Oh, this whole financial crisis is so confusing, but I don’t like to admit it out loud, because then everyone will think I’m a moron. Could someone please explain the bailout to me again, preferably when I’m not on my third bottle of sake? That would be swell, thanks. But why am I still nervous? Oh god, I feel an anxiety attack coming on. Between this election and this financial crisis that I really don’t understand, I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for the last two weeks. Maybe I should call my banker friend Emily and have her explain it in 30 words or less, like those idiot contestants did their bios last night on Stylista. Am I out of Xanax? Could Diana messenger some to me from her office? Where is she? I’ve sent her two emails and I haven’t heard back. My palms are sweaty. Gross. Breathe. More coffee, maybe? I don’t know, I don’t know.

But then I found out that BoA is a 21 year-old Korean R&B pop singer (“Best of Asia” or “Bring on America,” according to her website–homegirl definitely does not lack for confidence) who just came out with her first English single, “Eat You Up,” off of her debut English-language album, Look Who’s Talking. Phew. And it’s not half-bad (if a touch over-enunciated), mostly because Boa, who is quadrilingual (Korean, English, Japanese, and Mandarin), is so durn cute and has a wicked glide step:

My apologies if this is stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Better than fretting about the financial crisis that you don’t really understand, no?

Thanks, Lan!

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