When Worlds Collide: Lindsay, Sam, and Our Hardass Asian Moms Go to Fashion Week

September 7th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Lindsay Lohan with Samantha Ronson (front row) and Diana’s Mom with Jen’s Mom (back row)


DIANA’S MOM: Stuck in the second row. And behind this girl with so many freckles and her skinny boyfriend. Ghê quá! Who are these people? What do they do? I thought they put movie stars in the front row.

JEN’S MOM: And loyal customers. Like us.

DIANA’S MOM: Not anymore they don’t. How things have changed. Young people these days–no respect.

JEN’S MOM: I’m never coming to Fashion Week again. After this, Fashion Week is dead to me. I disown Fashion Week like I did Jennifer when she told me she wanted to be a writer.

DIANA’S MOM: Like Diana, when she told me she wasn’t going to medical school. Or law school. Or not even…architecture school.

JEN’S MOM: Not even architecture school?! Ai ya.

DIANA’S MOM: (shakes head) I know. Such a waste. She could have been bigger than Maya Lin. But instead she chose…er…

JEN’S MOM: What do our daughters do again?

DIANA’S MOM: I have no idea.

JEN’S MOM: Me neither.

DIANA’S MOM & JEN’S MOM: (in unison) Such a waste.

Awkward silence.

DIANA’S MOM: Who are these people in front of us? Why do they get special treatment?

JEN’S MOM: As hard as it is to believe, Freckle Girl is a movie star. Well, she used to be, anyway. And that is her girlfriend. I don’t know what she does. She looks to me like a punk off the street.

DIANA’S MOM: That boy is a girl?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

JEN’S MOM: I read it in the Chinese newspaper. They are girlfriend-girlfriend.

DIANA’S MOM: They were in the Chinese newspaper? I don’t believe you. That is a boy.

JEN’S MOM: Ai ya. I’m telling you. That is a girl.

DIANA’S MOM: What about that haircut?!

JEN’S MOM: Don’t ask me. It’s today’s “fashion.” Girls look like boys, boys look like girls, girls date girls, boys date boys, the gay can get married…

DIANA’S MOM: Ghê quá! The world is changing so fast.

JEN’S MOM: Changing for the worse, if you ask me.

DIANA’S MOM: At least our daughters don’t have girlfriends.

JEN’S MOM: And they’ll give us grandchildren one day.

DIANA’S MOM: That’s the least they could do. (beat) But what if they want to focus on…um…

JEN’S MOM: Whatever it is that they do, instead of giving us grandchildren?

DIANA’S MOM: Uh-huh.

More awkward silence.

JEN’S MOM: Ai ya!

DIANA’S MOM: Ghê quá!

JEN’S MOM & DIANA’S MOM: (in unison) Such a waste!

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