stages a totally meaningless photo-op/converses with an intellectual equal, finally/takes the first baby step toward being able to find Pakistan on a map meets with Pakistan Prez Asif Ali Zardari on Wednesday
ZARDARI: You are more gorgeous* than everyone has been saying. Not at all like a porn star.
PALIN: Thank you so much! Now, um, may I ask you, are you also a mother? I have five children. One of them is special-needs. Well, um, okay, two.
PALIN: In what respect,* President, um, (looks furtively at notes written in ballpoint ink on her right palm) Zar-dar-ee? Is that how ya say it?
ZARDARI: Did I say “hole”? I meant, “whole.” Oh, homonyms!
PALIN: You know, I’m glad you mentioned that. Because it is my understanding* that homonyms can be converted back to, um, um…normal people.
ZARDARI: The photographer is now insisting that we shake hands for the photo. If he’s insisting, I might hump, er, hug.** You. (clears throat) Hug you. I might hug you.
PALIN: Where is Pakistan exactly? Can I see it from my house*?
ZARDARI: (sexy, come-on voice) Why do you ask? Is it the mustache? Hubba-hubba.
PALIN: Thank you, sir, for meeting me today. I feel like I have a much better understanding of Pakis after this.
ZARDARI: And I of Alaskanis!
*these lines were pulled from actual interviews
**the real line was: “If he’s insisting, I might hug”
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