Okay, so I know reading lists are more of a summer thing, and some of you are back in school and already slaves to your syllabi, but how fun would a DISGRASIAN book club be? We could time our meetings to coincide with our periods, drink magnums of red Burgundy, smoke a jay, ooh and aah over each others’ cute shoes, talk lit-rature, and pretend we’re really smart and well-read (which is kinda like how I got through college, minus the good French wine, because beggars and students with Stafford loans can’t be choosers). To kick this thing off, I’ve drawn up a reading list.
Also covered in this 144-page memoir vibrating with a heretofore unseen honesty this side of James Frey: How to Be a Drive-Bisexual. How to Wear Fake Balloon Tits without Blowing Out Your Back. How to Work That Pole. How to Fake-Cry. How to Dump Your TV Boyfriend/Girlfriend. And: How to Hide That Oozy Herpes Cold Sore.
The Pussycat Dolls recently endorsed this book about past-life regression, and, as we all know, their stamp of approval on all matters of intellectual import is SOLID GOLD. Pussycat Doll founder Robin Antin says, “(Many Lives, Many Masters) is about reincarnation, finding your soul mate, and people who are in your lives for a reason.” Methinks it’s only a matter of time before that makes it as a backcover blurb.
(* Many Lives, Many Masters is not to be confused with Many Lives, Many Masturbators, another Pussycat Doll favorite.)
The Booker Prize shortlist – The White Tiger, The Secret Scripture, Sea of Poppies, The Clothes on Their Backs, The Northern Clemency, and A Fraction of the Whole
I know, I know, you’re thinking, Crap, that’s a whole lotta books. This doesn’t sound fun anymore. Does it help to know that a writer for London’s Daily Telegraph distilled the books down to this:
“Token Asian; Oirish misery novelist; another token Asian; Guardian woman; gay; token Australian wild-card with beard who looks definitely a bit foreign.“
Kinda saves us the trouble of actually reading them, when we’re being told that the books are a bunch of PC garbage-truck, tokenizing drivel (Do two Asians on one shortlist still make them tokens? Just checking).
Cool! That means we can skip the book part of our book club and get down to what really matters–drinking, smoking, and talking about each others’ shoes. Gaw, reading is so fun!
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