Campaign Delaysian

September 24th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I’ve gotta hand it to him: John McCain is the McMAN. He loves this country sooooooo much! He cares about our well-being so much more than he cares about becoming President–that we know for sure.

Let’s say there’s a hurricane or something. And it’s hitting just when McCain is supposed to be heading to his party convention to accept his nomination for Prez or whatever. I’m telling you, he will BAIL on the convention and go to the hurricane! Even if he doesn’t know how he might help, and requires extra staff and support (which may or may not be distracting from relief efforts) when he’s down there, he wants to help! More importantly, he wants to help in person! Oh, and by the way, if you want to film him helping or maybe schedule a couple of interviews to talk about how he’s helping with some American hat on or something, I mean, that’s fine too. Remember: he’s thinking, as always, of the COUNTRY FIRST.

Or lets say that there’s a historic crisis on Wall Street–one that could and should have been predicted by all of the fat cats in Washington and their rich buddies in the City when they were making money hand over fist during the housing boom and economic upswing! Let’s just say that there is such a crisis, and something like a $700 million dollar bailout eventually proposed and on the table in front of the Senate.

McCain will literally STOP CAMPAIGNING. He will STOP THINKING ABOUT BEING PRESIDENT to go to the Senate and save the day. The AMERICAN day, not the Republican or Democratic day. God, it makes me tear up just thinking about it! I mean, how can one candidate be such a saint? And why does it play with my emotions so beautifully? Listen, he would never do this just for political gain, and certainly not just because he’s starting to sink in the polls (due in part to the population’s concerns over the economy). Why should he care? John McCain is a good man! He’s a good citizen! And this is a good country. Listen: just so you know, this good guy is different from the rest of his party–which is absolutely, in no way responsible for just how deep in shit our economy is–he cares about the financial crisis. He’s crazed over this bailout, even if he hasn’t read it yet. Country first, yo!

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