MADDOX: Goddammit, Dad, Pax copied me AGAIN. I get streaks in my hair, he gets streaks in his hair. Are you gonna let him get a mohawk, too?! Just cuz we’re both Asian doesn’t mean we have to look alike. Christ, I wish that little squirt would get his own steez.
PAX: Daddy, what is “steez”?
BRAD: It’s like this hat I’m wearing. Hats are a kind of steez. Before I started aggressively wearing hats in public, I was only known as, you know, the Sexiest Man Alive. But then, I got a steez, and I became, like, a satirist.
MADDOX: Sartorialist. You mean “sartorialist.”
BRAD: Man, you’re smart. How did a kid like you come from a guy like me?
MADDOX: Um, how do I put this? I didn’t.
BRAD: Oh. Right.
PAX: Daddy, this backpack I’m wearing is ugly. I want to get a one-shouldered bag like Mad. Please, please, pretty please?
MADDOX: Aw hell no.
BRAD: Come on, guys. Don’t fight. Not in front of the paps, anyway. We’re going to see some architecture in Venice today, remember? And you love architecture.
PAX: What’s “architecture”?
MADDOX: Oh please. We do not love architecture. What’s so great about looking at old, crumbly buildings? I want to shoot off some guns. Is there a gun range in Venice?
PAX: What’s a “gun”?
MADDOX: Jesus. I’m surrounded by idiots.
BRAD: True, but we’re gorgeous idiots. Would you be happier growing up in a family of ugly, unfamous geniuses?
MADDOX: Hmmm. Okay, good point. Not bad for an idiot.
BRAD: Yesss! So maybe you are a chip off the old block, huh?
MADDOX: Don’t push it.
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