Help Katie Holmes Buy a New Pair of Jeans

August 7th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Guys, can we be serious for one sweaty summer minute? Most of you know that my parents (as well as Diana’s) were immigrants to this country. And, like many new arrivals, they went through tough times feeding their kids, finding jobs, getting their green cards, etc. In the early part of my childhood, we were flat-broke all the time. We didn’t have money to buy a house or furniture or new cars, so we survived for years on hand-me-downs and crap from the Salvation Army. Clothes were also considered a luxury. My brother and I would only get one pair of jeans at a time, and wear them until we blew out the knees, then my mom or grandmother would patch them, then we’d wear them some more until they were faded, filthy, and totally falling apart before we could buy a new pair.

I’ve noticed lately that Katie Holmes seems to be afflicted with the same problem.

She’s been wearing one pair of jeans day in and day out, and, frankly, it hurts me to see this. The most heartbreaking thing about those jeans is that they’re not even hers! She had to borrow them just so she wouldn’t leave the house naked. That’s some messed-up shit, y’all (although, weirdly, she seems to have no shortage of shoes).

Anyway, having been through this myself, I feel like we have to do something. Like gay marriage and free speech, it’s a basic civil right to be able to own more than one pair of jeans. Diana and I have started an online petition called “Help Katie Holmes Buy a New Pair of Jeans.” Our sincerest hope is that we will garner enough signatures to convince corporate sponsors to donate a new pair of jeans to Katie. And all you have to do is sign on the dotted line.

WE REALLY NEED YOUR HELP, PEOPLE. I’m afraid Katie’s jeans don’t have much time left in them. Please don’t wait–act now.

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