DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Grannies and Labor Camps Go Together Like Ramma Lamma Lamma Ka Dinga Da Dinga Dong

August 22nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Wu Dianyuan and Wang Xiuying


I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word “grandma,” I don’t think about knitting needles or freshly-baked cookies, I think “labor camp.” That’s because my great-grandmother spent her last years, almost up to her death, in a Chinese labor camp, or “re-education camp,” depending on your semantic inclinations.

You see, my great-grandma was a corrupt landowner, and when the Communists took over China in 1949, her privileged old ass needed to be re-educated. Her re-education included having her ancestral home taken away from her, hard labor, and torture, er, I mean, teaching. Unlike other members of my family, great-grandma couldn’t leave the country for Taiwan or Hong Kong because her feet were bound. (Sucks for her!) But I’m pretty sure that once she was re-educated, the government showed great-grandma how even those bound feet were made for walkin’. Her re-education package also included being rendered blind, which seems fitting for an old lady who couldn’t “see” the error of her disgusting, capitalist ways and who never saw her husband, children, or grandchildren again after ’49, save for one daughter.

I thought the era of putting grandmothers in labor camps was over, but then I heard about Beijing grannies Wu Dianyuan, 79, and Wang Xiuying, 77, getting sentenced to one year in a re-education camp for filing applications to hold a legal protest. Before the Olympics, Chinese officials promised to allow protests in three city parks so long as protesters filed an application first. So far, none of the 77 applications have been approved. Wu and Wang, who are lifelong friends, applied five times to protest the fact that they have not received compensation for the demolition of their homes, bulldozed seven years ago to make room for new developments.

Like seasoned criminals, these two agitators, who both walk with the assistance of a cane, deny any wrongdoing:

What crime have we committed?” said Wang, as the two lifetime friends let out a burst of laughter.

“We never committed any crime when we were young. Now we are so old we can’t even speak clearly. How can we possibly commit a crime?“

Wang says that the two will keep “disturbing public order” (the official charge) and she’ll even refuse to serve her labor camp sentence.

Clearly, these two grey-haired revolutionaries are in desperate need of re-education. Daring to legally protest in a country that said a few weeks ago it would permit legal protests? That practically sounds like a threat to overthrow the government! Chinese officials should put their old anarchic asses in a labor camp before those biddies start a trend! Make them see the error of their ways until Wang, who is blind in one eye, and Wu are cleansed of their putrid, Westernized ideals! If they have to be made completely blind and crippled–like my great-grandmother–to learn their lesson, sucks for them!

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