DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Cokie Roberts

August 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

On ABC’s This Week, which aired on Sunday, Cokie Roberts criticized Senator Obama for taking a week of much-needed downtime in Hawaii, because, y’know, vacationing near his 85 -year-old grandmother in the place of his upbringing makes him look even more elitist.

She continued to explain why renting a reasonably-priced private house on Oahu–which we’ll have you know boasts a Bubba Gump, Sizzler, Bank of America, Wal-Mart, and over 10 McDonalds locations (dudes, we’re talking on one island!)–should have been shunned in favor of, say, Myrtle Beach. Lawd knows that beaching in the Cowolinas is so much more everyman:

“Going off this week to vacation in Hawaii does not make any sense whatsoever. I know his grandmother lives in Hawaii, and I know Hawaii is a state, but it has the look of him going off to some sort of foreign, exotic place. He should be in Myrtle Beach… if he’s going to take a vacation at this time.”

She then continued to say, “All those brown people and their coconuts really fucking freak me out. I hear they put spirits in the poi (whatever that shit is), too, and they don’t even accept the good ol’ American dollar. They barter with shells and sacrifice. Thank heavens Myrtle Beach is mostly blacks and whites, all those Polynesians and Hispanics really muck up the water in all of the playas on the Pacific.”*

We have to ask: where the hell do these middle-minded TV pundits come from, anyway?? Does Cokie not know what a gherkin is, either?

*This was not actually said on camera. We cannot confirm that Roberts was actually responsible for this quote, because there is no written proof. So sue us.

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