Great news!! Our lifelong dream of me going to space is quickly becoming a reality. This week, Richard Branson unveiled the White Knight Two, the launch vehicle for my sweet space ride. Isn’t it beautiful? Oh, right. You don’t really care how it looks (so long as it’s inexpensive, efficient, and built to last a lifetime). Well, trust me, Dad, it’s gorgeous!
Even though my launch isn’t for another 18 months, I’m already shopping for space suits. I don’t actually need one for my maiden intergalactic voyage, but I’ve always wanted one (I know, I know–so wasteful). But don’t worry–I’m looking on eBay and Craigslist because you and Mom always taught me that paying full-price is for white people!
So, uh, there’s just one little hitch. Can I, like, borrow $200,000? I know it’s a lot of money, but let me put it to you this way. $200,000 = Bragging Rights for a Lifetime Among Your Chinese Friends. By that measure, it’s kind of a bargain, don’t you think? And I know you guys love bargains!
keep the dream alive,
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