What’s Wrong with This Pandure?

July 16th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There are several things wrong with this picture. For one, there are two people on this stage (okay, one person and one bear) who need to sign up for Jenny Craig, stat. And, of course, there is more of that unfunny white man’s kung fu that I’m too bored by to delve into. Because I’m really more disturbed by the fact that Lucy Liu is wearing black tights in the middle of summer. This photo was taken yesterday at a Kung Fu Panda press conference in Tokyo, where temperatures reached a high of 86 degrees. Now, in general, black tights are God’s gift to women. They are warm, they are slimming, they allow you to wear obscene minis without looking like a hooker. They make virtually everyone look like they’ve got legs and they know how to use them, even if what’s lurking underneath those tights resembles a vat of old cottage cheese. But black-tights-in-summer are something else entirely. Black-tights-in-summer say, “I haven’t yet shed my winter weight.” They say, “This dress is microscopic, but my thighs aren’t.” They say, “I feel fat, but I want to wear this little sparkly number dammit.” And if Lucy Liu–of all teensy people– thinks that she has to wear black-tights-in-summer to pull off that dress because she’s still carrying around her winter weight, when she’s taking a picture next to a fat bear and, well, another fat bear, then we’re going to have to start sending her many more concerned letters.

Thanks, Jasmine!

Filed under: , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen



If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen


Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!


Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.


Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?


RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!