It always bugs the hell outta me when Angelenos (most of whom are transplants from less sunny climes) say things like, “I love L.A., but I really miss the rain.” I’m always like, No, ya don’t, ya fuckin’ liar. It’s as though liking the rain is some kind of badge of honor, like you’re suddenly a deeper person, just add water. Phooey. I grew up outside of Houston, one of the wettest cities in America, where it rains more than it does in London (a little fact I learned once from playing way too much Trivial Pursuit), so I know from rain. Rain kills. It kills your hair. It kills your suede shoes. It creates floods, mold, and brings out water mocassins, all of which, BTW, kill.
I’m relieved that somebody out there understands this and has developed The Self-Defense Umbrella (aka The Fighting Umbrella or The Unbreakable Umbrella). These umbrellas are so badass that the security detail for Philippines (one “L”) president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo carries them. Don’t believe me? Check this:
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