DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Heath Hyche, ‘Last Comic Standing’ Loser

July 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I had a totally crazy dream last night, and I think I might actually have come up with a brilliant concept.

How’s this for a movie idea?

It’s WWII.


But we’re up in the air. We’re in a fighter plane.


Missiles are flying. Smoke is everywhere! Fuselage damage! Madness! Intensity! War!

Where’s our hero… the handsome American pilot? (And who can we get to play him? Perhaps just a hack comedian as a stand-in for now.)


Okay, take out “handsome,” keep “American.” But somebody’s got their target set on the American. A JAP! A JAP in another fighter plane is trying to take our guy down! (But who can we get to play the Jap on such short notice? Let’s just use the same hack comedian.)


Ooh! There he is, our trusty Chinaman, oops, we mean Jap! Did I mention that this is a comedy? Hee hee! He have srits for eyes! He airprane pirate! Hoo hoo hoo! GONG!


Oh wait. Shoot. Shoot. I think I got confused. I didn’t dream this up at all. Some jerkoff from Birmingham, Alabama (which is an actual city with an actual university, and not an all an excuse for such ignorance) shared this “movie” bit with the mediocre audience of Last Comic Standing just this week.

Needless to say, the judges were not amused, nor impressed.


They were so unimpressed, in fact, that they gave Hyche a rather hefty public shaming (stating an allergy to ethnic stereotypes and a desire to commit hara-kiri if they had to listen to an extended performance) before booting him off the show. Heck, they pretty much did our job for us!

But did they turn around and shame all of the crowd members who think yerrowface is still veddy veddy funny? GONG! They should have.

See Hyche’s performance in the full episode (click on #607) here.

Source Source Source
Thanks, Slanty and Angry!

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