Dear Lucy, Third Time’s a Charm

July 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dear Lucy,

What’s up? I know you’ve been getting some correspondence from my friend Jen, and that she declared a semi-official moratorium on “Lucy digs” on DISGRASIAN because we admittedly like you a lot.

But I’ve gotta know… what is it with people like you that make it impossible to honor such moratoriums? It’s like that song by Air, “You Make It Easy”–much too easy, what with the godawful movie choices (Lesbian vampires, why??) and the even worse, incessant sartorial mistakes.

Let’s talk about this. I need you to tell me how I can look at you at the Japanese Kung Fu Panda premiere in the silky representation of Mrs. Claus’s snowy-white, flappy, old-lady labia and not write to you in inquiry. Why would you wear such a thing, WHY? Why would you belt this disastrous frock with one of Dita Von Teese’s throwaways? Why would you possibly choose the one hemline and shoe combo that could make you–such a tiny lass–look like you’re storing extra flesh on their hips for the winter? You aren’t going on some survival mission in Siberia, are you? See? Now I’ve got questions upon questions. This is what you DO to me!

At least we care, right? Now go change yer clothes, and then make a good movie.



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