Crowning Around

July 9th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The reigning Miss Washington, Elyse Umemoto, has been getting a lot of flack over a couple of racy candid photos that leaked on the Internets this week. TMZ called her “a bad apple,” the Miss Washington Scholarship Organization said they were “embarassed by the pictures,” and the pageant queen (whose term ends this Saturday) issued a public apology today.

Quite the brouhaha. Them’s must be some dangerous pictures! So what’s all the fuss about, really?

We took a look at the snapshots and have delivered an assessment on Umemoto’s real crimes below.

Umemoto and friend flipping off camera

CRIMES: Ungraceful bend of index finger, wearing stupid pageant crown in public.

Umemoto and friend suggestively licking a bottle of Malibu rum

CRIMES: Drinking pussy-ass Malibu rum like a bunch of fucking novices. Get a bottle of Macallan 12, for the love of GOD!

Umemoto and friend making obscene finger gestures

CRIMES: Purple eyeshadow and lurex top, fraternizing with actual frat boys. Also: if you’re gonna front that you like cooch-licking, don’t waste time with the peace sign. Use a cooch.

Shirtless Umemoto with friend, in the mirror

CRIMES: Vanity, ugly bra, ugly friend.

Umemoto suggestively close to friend

CRIME: Frightening proximity to blue eyeshadow.

Umemoto with friend and curling iron

CRIMES: wielding a deadly weapon, unauthorized use of the stupid pageant crown, harboring scary friends, crazy face.

Oh goodness.

Ooof. Now that we’ve assessed the extent of the damages, we actually do think she might owe us all another apology.

Source Source Source Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

karatekid

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.

Peter-Beste9

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Peace.

2013-03-29-01-01

If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Wannabe.

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!

bfbutt

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.

ama_psy_and_hammer_this_one_0

Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?

dj-twinkie2-blog480

RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!