Translasian

June 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Jen and I both have our reasons for living, loving, writing DISGRASIAN. I can’t speak for hers, but me, I’ve got reasons aplenty. One in particular has been lurking deep inside of me for over a year or however long we’ve been at this, a dark secret I never thought I’d make public. It’s my tornado of shame, my source of personal disappointment, the bright yellow “D” written across my forehead.

Are you ready for this?

Please don’t hold it against me.

I’m Vietnamese-American, and I don’t speak Vietnamese.

I’ve tried to learn, a number of times. I’ve hoped to pick it up by listening to my parents or visiting Ho Chi Minh City for a week (yes, I shrugged my shoulders as I wrote that). But after spending the first 8 years of my life in corn country where I didn’t hear a syllable that wasn’t English (my parents had pretty much eliminated it from the house vernacular), my ears and tongue and brain became inept in that language Department. I just didn’t come together.

So there you go. I’m kinda DISGRASIAN. And I don’t want to end up on this frickin’ site, ever, even though I’m know that the situation is a bit of a disgrace. To the race. So I pick up my trusty laptop and write alongside Jen, day in, day out, blog or bust. Just to stay off of our site’s seemingly endless saffron pages. Ever with burden and shame.

I would give anything to learn my native tongue to perfection, and make my DISGRASIAN status a thing of the past. So far, I haven’t really figured out how. I pity me.

Oh, and reading today that Charles Jang, the Korean-American leading man of the new film Take Out, picked up fluent Mandarin as a second language for the role in only one year… made me feel just lovely. SALT IN THE WOUND, MUCH?

Thank you so very kindly, all of you kind and generous tipsters, for sending that lovely news my way. Why don’t you call my mom and remind her that her daughter is DISGRASIAN, too? Screw off!

Source
Thanks, Aidel and Jasmine! Now screw off!

Filed under: , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

karatekid

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.

Peter-Beste9

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Peace.

2013-03-29-01-01

If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Wannabe.

Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!

bfbutt

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.

ama_psy_and_hammer_this_one_0

Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?

dj-twinkie2-blog480

RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!