DIANA and JEN blog their little hearts out on their Mac computers.
DIANA: Aaargghhh! I hate the latest version of Microsoft Word. It’s formatting all crazy again. Damn you, Bill Gates. An hour’s worth of work, down the shitter.
JEN: I think Bill Gates is misunderstood.
DIANA: (snorts) Yeah right.
JEN: No, I’m serious. Did you know he gave three million to Myanmar?
DIANA: That’s the least he could do, since he’s worth a gajillion dollars.
JEN: 58 billion, actually. But he’s no longer the world’s richest man even.
DIANA: Who is?
JEN: Warren Buffett.
DIANA: Aww! I love Warren Buffett! He’s so cuddly. I just want to squish him.
JEN: That’s what I’m saying about Bill Gates. I think he’s totally misunderstood. I think he’s probably a very nice man–
DIANA: OMG. Are you high? Bill Gates is a monopolist, a corporate raider, and, above all else, a greedy NERRRRRRD. I bet he eats his own boogers.
JEN: But he’s trying to solve the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa.
DIANA: With that kind of money, he shoulda solved it already.
JEN: And he’s friends with Bono.
DIANA: I hate U2.
JEN: And he’s stepping down as Microsoft chairman in July to focus on charity.
DIANA: Dude. Seriously. What’s gotten into you?!
JEN: Nothing. What are you talking about? I’m great. I’ve just decided that…I love Bill Gates.
DIANA: I’m going to throw up.
JEN: (sighs) Okay, fine. I’m kissing Bill Gates’s ass. For a really good reason. Did you see what he gave South Korean president Lee Myung-bak earlier this month? Check it out:
JEN: Yeah, that’s right. A black Xbox with mother-of-pearl inlay. Only 100 of them were made.
DIANA: (awestruck) Shit. I just splooged my pants.
JEN: That’s what I’m saying.
DIANA: I love Bill Gates. I HAVE TO be his new BFF.
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