House of Derriere, Jr.

May 9th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana
Recent advertisement for Girls of Deréon,
the young lassie offshoot of Beyonce’s House of Deréon clothing line


LITTLE BLONDE GIRL: Pay attention to me!

LITTLE GIRL WITH RED HAT: Hell to the naw. Nobody likes you.

[Little blonde girl runs off, crying]

LITTLE CURLY-HAIRED GIRL: I think I’m the star! I look just like Big B!

LITTLE GIRL WITH FEATHER BOA: Girl, Miss Beyonce told you never to call her “Big B” again!!! She hates it when anyone calls her big. Don’t call her “Cankles,” either. Or “Thunder.”

LITTLE GIRL WITH RED HAT: I call her “B for Beautiful.” That’s why she’s going to make me the star of this ad campaign.

LITTLE CURLY-HAIRED GIRL: I thought I was the star! I look just like her!

LITTLE GIRL WITH FEATHER BOA: Woo ha! You’d look just like her if you wore a mini skirt and ankle boots, even when your legs would call that an inadvisable choice.

LITTLE CURLY-HAIRED GIRL: But I play piano. I have real musical talent.

LITTLE GIRL WITH RED HAT: B doesn’t play piano.

LITTLE CURLY-HAIRED GIRL: Oh.

LITTLE GIRL WITH FEATHER BOA: Yowza, girl! I wouldn’t be talkin’! You’re starrin’ in this here campaign looking like you’re rocking some of Jessica Simpson’s discarded cowgirl boots.

LITTLE GIRL WITH RED HAT: Hmph. They are a little a big.

LITTLE CURLY-HAIRED GIRL: They’re a little wretched, too.

LITTLE GIRL WITH RED HAT: You’re just jealous!

LITTLE CURLY-HAIRED GIRL: No I’m not! Has your mommy even seen you in your line-dancing, ghetto-fabulous digs? I guarantee she’ll think you’re crazy.

LITTLE GIRL WITH FEATHER BOA: Or a hoooooligan!

LITTLE GIRL WITH RED HAT: [to Little Girl With Feather Boa] …Oh! So says the reincarnation of Rick James? Are you supposed to be little Blondie’s pimp or something?

LITTLE CURLY-HAIRED GIRL: I want a pimp!

LITTLE GIRL WITH FEATHER BOA: Girls, I think we all already have one.

LITTLE BLONDE GIRL: [from the corner of the room] Somebody should just take some pictures.

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