Gossip Girl: Deleted Scenes

May 6th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not spotted last night on the CW’s Gossip Girl:


EXT. METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART – DAY

JENNY HUMPHREY, aka “Li’l J,” walks up the steps, trailed by HER POSSE, just as BLAIR WALDORF and her HARAGOSSIP GIRLS approach.

JENNY
It’s so hard to find good help these days.

BLAIR
Tsk, tsk, Li’l J. I would have thought that you’d learned by now. It’s all about the ethnics. They’re industrious, they don’t talk back, and they have gorgeous skin.

JENNY
Industrious, huh? Is that why you’re carrying your own breakfast?


Blair looks down at her carton of fruit and throws it to the ground. She gives the evil eye to the HaraGossip Girls.

BLAIR
You lazy whores! I’m going to beat your asses when we get home!


CUT TO:



INT. BLAIR WALDORF’S BEDROOM – DAY

NELLY YUKI, aka The Replacement Asian HaraGossip Girl, hands Blair a phone.

NELLY
There you go, “B.” A new cell phone, just like you asked.


Blair looks at the phone in horror.

BLAIR
What the fuck is this? An LG? This is disgusting-looking! It’s so…GHETTO. I said I wanted an iPhone, you stupid slut!


Blair grabs the phone and hits Nelly over the head with it. Nelly WHIMPERS softly.

CUT TO:



INT. UPPER EAST SIDE APARTMENT – NIGHT

Nelly and ISABEL COATES, aka The Black HaraGossip Girl, flank MIDGETY GIRL IN HEADBAND.

MIDGETY GIRL IN HEADBAND
Oh my gaw. I’m sooo relieved that you guys could work my party tonight! It’s so hard to find good help these days. Do you think Blair’s going to find out?

ISABEL
If she does, she’ll be pissed.

NELLY
Pray she doesn’t, because she’ll beat the shit out of us for two-timing her.

MIDGETY GIRL IN HEADBAND
That would be sooo cool.

ISABEL
What?

MIDGETY GIRL IN HEADBAND
Oh, nothing! (beat) Criminy–there’s Blair!


Blair makes her way up the stairs in a spotted coat and walks over to the girls.

ISABEL and NELLY
(in unison) We’re fucked.

BLAIR
Hi, ladies!

MIDGETY GIRL IN HEADBAND
I’m Audi 5000.


Midgety Girl flees the scene.

NELLY
Please don’t hurt us. We’re only working this party so that I could pay for the LG that you destroyed.

ISABEL
And the iPhone you demanded.

BLAIR
OMFG! You two are a piece of work. Do you really think that MY world revolves around YOU two? I’ve got, like, way bigger, way whiter fish to fry. Like outing Li’l J’s puffy, closeted boyfriend. Let’s see…where is he? (beat) Hold my coat?


Blair walks away. The HaraGossip Girls breathe a sigh of relief.

ISABEL
We just dodged a bullet. We’re so lucky to still be here. We should be grateful.

NELLY
Sooo lucky. Sooo grateful.

FADE OUT.

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