We used to think hackers were cool and looked something like Angelina Jolie in that awesomely-bad movie from the 90′s. Then some limpdick hacked our MySpace account. Lucky for us, our friend Michael, who works at MySpace, got our account restored lickety-splickety, and we were still capable of believing after that that hackers were cool. Because hackers know how to reprogram their gaming systems to make them really bitchin’. And they know how to bust through the Great Firewall of China to circumvent internet censorship. There are even hackers using their skills for HIV/AIDS charities in Africa. All of that is very cool.
However, hacking the Epilepsy Foundation’s website with images that induce seizures is not cool. It is pathetic. It is base. It is a massive waste of time, talent, and skill, not to mention inhumane and cruel.
Though you haven’t been caught yet, we think that jail time is probably you getting off easy. We wish you nothing but misery. We hope that in the not-so-distant future your hacky little fingers fall off because of some creepy, flesh-eating virus. Your dicks, too.
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