The Guvnah’s Resignasian

March 12th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Well, we’re afraid the Associated Press has called it:

“Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigned in disgrace today…”


…and to that, there are so many things one could say to Spitzer right now. For instance:

“Buh-bye.”

“Was ‘Kristen’ very clean?”

“Does this mean you’re no longer a superdelegate?”

“Our parents are disappointed in you.”

“Does this mean our lunch is off?”

“Wednesday! We thought you’d hold out until at least Friday.”

Instead, I think I’ll just say what I actually keep thinking:

“Elliot. This is a a major bummer, a truly tragic affair. I feel for you and the fact that you’ve been singled out in this insane scandal, that your career is destroyed, that instead of being remembered for cleaning up New York you will forever be known as ‘Client 9.’ The media keeps discussing how you and your career might bounce back from this. But I don’t even care, really, when it comes down to it. The real victims here are your family: your pretty wife, your teenage daughters. I picture them, humiliated, their heads hung in shame, broken-hearted by the broken image of their dad. Will they bounce back?”

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