Opening Day came early this year for the Red Sox and A’s (Tuesday 3 AM PST, to be exact) at the Tokyo Dome in Japan. Red Sox Nasian East and West turned out for the two-game series, which the Sox and A’s split.
I was sadly not in attendance, but Commish Bud “Ka-Ching-Chong” Selig showed up in the announcers’ booth for Game 1 and he said:
“I got up this morning, and as tired as I was…I was excited. Coming out here tonight and watching the Red Sox and the A’s, it’s really just remarkable. This could not have worked out any better.”
Then he splooged his pants and cried, “Play ball!” in perfect Japanglish.
With the new season sorta kinda underway, I thought it would be a good time to call dibs on Sawx center fielder Jacoby “Hot Ass” Ellsbury. Hear that, girls and gays?
Ellsbury, who is of Navajo descent, was called up late last year and, uh, performed artfully for Boston in the postseason, swinging, er, a huge bat (.438) in the World Series. During the season opener, he pulled off some spiderman shit in center:
Quite a catch, huh?
Source Source Source
Filed under: Hot Ass, Jacoby Ellsbury, Ka-Ching Chong is the new English, Oakland Athletics, Opening Day, Red Sox Nasian, Splooging In Your Pants, That's Some Spiderman Shit There
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