Guns N Roses has taken its sweet-ass time finishing up their ever-forthcoming album, Chinese Democracy, and after over a decade, even the most straggly of believers have given up hope (don’t worry… Jen and I were never really holding our breath, naw mean?).
But Dr. Pepper–a beverage that I love but most people I went to grade school with referred to as “carbonated prune juice–recently upped the ante for Democracy’s release–announcing that they would give a can of Dr. Pepper to every American (except for GNR exes Buckethead and Slash) if the album comes out this year.
I’m not sure what makes this offer least alluring:
1) The promise of free carbonated prune juice (hey, I know I said I love it, but I’m just me).
2) The promise of Chinese Democracy (I’ve certainly never been partial to the title, nor the proposed album art, nor the idea of listening to an album that has been crafted over the course of at least 4 really terrible musical movements).
3) The ugly digs at GNR former members Slash and Buckethead. They moved on! Wouldn’t you?
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