Hey dudes! What’s the haps? I hear you guys have been, like, totally busy putting out bounties on Edison Chen’s head and threatening to cut off his hand and shit. Please don’t put a cap in my ass for asking, but why not cut off both? That way, if he ever wants to stroke it again, things would get pretty tricky, unless he’s, uh, superhumanly flexible, know what I mean? Also, cutting off both of his hands would make his having sex and documenting it much, er, harder. But you guys must be pretty stoked right now after scaring the bejizzwizz clean out of ol’ Edison, so much so that he announced his indefinite retirement from entertainment yesterday. Like my grandma always used to say, someone’s got to put a dude getting too much play in his place, yo. Hey, have you guys ever heard of Rick Salomon? No? What about Gene Simmons? Alls I’m sayin’ is, we’ve got a lot of home-porn horndogs Stateside, if you’re looking for more dudes to fuck up. In any case, thanks for the good work. I can sleep better at night knowing that criminal gangs have moral values, too. Chop On!
Still don’t know who the fuzz Edison Chen is? Click here.
Thanks, Henri! Now go do your damn laundry!
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