SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Redefining "Big in Japan"

February 27th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Sayonara, bitches! Barry Bonds may be headed to Japan.

Bonds’ agent Jeff Borris has been trying to land a deal for his 43 year-old client with the Tampa Bay Rays (they presumably removed the “Devil” from their name because they blame Satan for sucking), but he remains open to internasianal options:

“He’s not retiring,” Bonds’ agent, Jeff Borris, told Metro yesterday. “He intends to play somewhere. If a door doesn’t open for Barry in the major leagues, as unbelievable as that possibility sounds, then Japan certainly is an option.”

Bonds in Japan? Getting lost in translasian might be just what Bonds needs, what with his winning personality. And it sure beats jail.

That said, the criminalization of steroids is bullshit. Bud Selig needs to step it up and keep testing, fining, suspensions, and all other punishment in-house. Ban players from the league, don’t let them get thrown in jail. The Congressional Steroid Circus is only a waste of our fuckin’ tax dollars.

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