Britney Spears getting her tresses dressed at the Kim Vo salon in Beverly Hills, CA this week:
BRITNEY: Y’all are so nice. Thanks for takin’ my appointment on such short notice.
FEMALE STYLIST: You gave us each five grand in cash and threatened to lay naked across our cars if we didn’t stay open.
FEMALE STYLIST: It’s okay, Britney. You’re not well. We’re here to help.
BRITNEY: Awww! Y’all are so sweet!
FEMALE STYLIST: Mm-hmm.
BRITNEY: Can the paparazzios see me here?
FEMALE STYLIST: Yes, there’s a window.
BRITNEY: Why am I sittin’ by the window, y’all?
MALE STYLIST: You requested the window seat so that you could see all of the paparazzi-er-ohs.
BRITNEY: Oh! Alright, good.
MALE STYLIST: Bitch, you’re gonna look fierce when you walk outta here.
BRITNEY: That’s what y’all keep sayin’ but my paparazzerias friends, sometimes when they’re being mean to me, they say my head looks all nappy, and I’m all like errrrrr… whatever!
FEMALE STYLIST: (sternly, to male stylist) Um… Christian, would you mind grabbing me some more foils? (he exits)
BRITNEY: (whistles) So how come I never see Kim anymore? Is this not the (makes bunny ears quotation marks) Kim Vo salon?
MALE STYLIST: (from the other room) He’s sick!
BRITNEY: You said that last time. And the last time. And the time before that, y’all. I been wantin’ to tell him that I after I found out he was French/Viennese, I ate like a boatload of Vienna sausages. They were awesome!
FEMALE STYLIST: Sweetie, he’s French/Vietnamese. Vietnam is in ASIA. I am also from ASIA. We don’t eat Vienna sausages.
BRITNEY: Oh. Y’all should though.
FEMALE STYLIST: Mm hmm.
BRITNEY: So is he really sick?
FEMALE STYLIST: No, darlin’. He just doesn’t want to be responsible for this dead animal living on top of your head. And if you tell anyone that I did it, I’m gonna be sick the next time you call too.
MALE STYLIST: (from the other room) You’re FIERCE, Brit!
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