Perhaps we’ve misjudged you and we have more in common with you than we’d previously imagined. Seeing you shred that Gibson Les Paul Guitar Hero controller at Sundance, we thought we could bury the hatchet by extending an offer to all play together. We’re thinking Face-Off or Battle mode in Expert would be sporting; you bring your own ax. We’ll let you pick the songs, although Diana’s partial to Stevie Ray Vaughn’s Pride and Joy and I’m kinda fond of Iron Maiden’s The Number of the Beast or that noodlefest Cliffs of Dover. Anything with tons of hammer-ons, impossible chords, and weird rhythms. The place is Jen’s house. You say when
you want your ass handed to you.
And in other Suckdance news–Sandra Oh, one of the festival’s jurors–turned up to a Park City Event ready to go…bowling!?
Sandy, I know we said we would leave you alone for a while because you stood up for the writers and you just seem like a coolass chick. But what is up with those jeans, gurl? They give you thunder thighs, and I know you ain’t got thunder thighs. And..oh shit…what was I saying? I think I’m having a bad acidwash flashback. Did some of that Rit dye travel up your pants to your hair, too? Are those strike streaks? What would you call them, lowlights or highlights? I’m thinking lowlights. Very low. lights. If you turned them down just a hair (yuk yuk) or twenty, I think they would be perfect.
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