January 3rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

There are rumors swirling like snowflakes (which we sadly don’t ever see in L.A.) among sports blogs that 21 year-old, Iranian-Japanese pitcher Yu Darvish may be headed to the MLB after the 2008 season. Reportedly, the Yankees plan to go after the Nippon Ham Fighters ace (okay, stop your yukkin’ about “Ham Fighters”), and the Dodgers, Cubs, and Mets have all shown interest in the righty. Who is this Yu Darvish, yu wonder? DISGRASIAN has its own scouting report on the young Iraniasian talent:

1) Yu stands 6’5″, looks like a bag of bones, and has a blistering hot…face.

2) He possesses a wicked fastball, although sometimes loses his command, like when he knocked up actress girlfriend Saeko after only a month together, forcing a shotgun wedding between the two. Or would that be considered a wicked curveball? Hmm.

3) Yu is not the only star in the family. Look for Yu’s younger brother to also come up in the 2009 season, either because he beat the shit out of someone or because he’s hawking t-shirts that say “Yu the Man” outside the stadium where brobro winds up playing.

4) Born to an Iranian father and Japanese mother and possessing dual citizenship, Yu, by Japanese law, had to choose one nationality before his 22nd birthday. So he went with his AZN pride and chose Japanese. (And MAYBE just maybe his decision had something to do with planning to play for Japan in the 2008 Olympics, a national team that took home bronze in 2004, whereas the Iranian team…wait, is there an Iranian baseball team?)

5) Yu would give up his baseball career in a second, if he could pursue his other lifelong dream of being…in a boy band.


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