SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Notes from the Down Underground

January 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Zhang Jie and Yan Zi, 2006 Australasian Open doubles champs


The quarterfinals at the Australasian Open were not kind to the Williams sisters this year. First Serena was knocked out of the singles competition by Serbian Jelena Jankovic in straight sets, then Serena and Venus lost in doubles to Chinese duo Yan Zi and Zheng Jie, and, finally, Venus, who’s never won this Slam, was defeated in her singles match by another Serb, Ana Ivanovic, also in straight sets. All three losses occurred in the span of 24 hours. Rough day!

Speaking of China, there’s talk of moving the Australian Open, which advertises itself as “The Grand Slam of Asia/Pacific,” to Asia. China, specifically.

Even though the tournament has been held in Melbourne since 1905, I have a feeling I know who’ll win this fight. Perhaps the Aussies should adopt a new mascot…(drumroll)…the Down Underdogs! Okay, that was terrible.

On the subject of top dogs, can anyone beat Roger “The Federator” Federer on this hardcourt?

I’m still not convinced the dude isn’t an evil robot.

And, finally, we’ve noticed a big bump in DISGRASIAN’s traffic since the start of the Australasian Open. Are readers clicking over here for our unique slant on pop culture, sports, and celebutardity? Or our look at the presidential race through yellow-tinted glasses? Or our bitchy knee-jerk reactions to everything from protests of Japanese whaling to human rights in China?

Sadly, no. Many of you have just come for THIS.

THIS.


AND THIS.

So, once again, we’re putting out for you. Why? Cuz underneath our rough, pissed-off exteriors…

…we’re just gals who aim to please.

Happy tennis, pervs!

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