Rock of Lazian

January 25th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

As you all know, the one thing missing from the near-perfect debut season of VH1′s Rock of Love (a celebrity/dating/competition/reality show in which twenty women–that have clearly all been rode hard and put away wet–compete for the affections of Poison frontman Bret Michels) was an Asian cast member. As I watched every episode (we’re talking every act, bumper, teaser, commercial), I decided that the reason we weren’t included in the fight for Bret was because we’re just too damn competitive. They couldn’t have one of us in there making it all hard to keep up, right? Maybe I’m not right but, hey, whatever gets me through the night.

Season 2 kicked off two weeks ago, and I was delighted to find in Episode 1 that we were finally seeing some gorgeous reprzentasian:

Sara had a pretty face (rare on ROL), a sizable rack, and what I considered to be an arrow-straight pathway to the final two.

In the second episode, however, we learned more about her: she neglected to tell her parents (duh) that she was going on the Love, saying instead that she was going to LA with some girlfriends (that’ll go over well now that the show’s aired). She gave up her competitive edge by telling any girl that would listen that she’d been dared to go on the show, information quickly used to tarnish her image. And when the girls were asked to compete in a talent show…

…she decided to try her hand at belly dancing, saying, “I love to dance, and I thought I should do belly dancing. I mean, granted I’ve never done it before, but at least I’ll stand out and it’ll be something different to look at.” She didn’t see much of a reason to take the idiotic sub-competition seriously, and it showed in her half-assed homage to tradition. Ugh. Her performance was different, alright–different from any belly dancing I’ve ever seen. Sara was such a self-satirizing snoozefest that she made this racial drag “kung-fu” performance:

…seem somehow more genuine.

I guess it’s no surprise that Sara was sent packing her bags. Bret called her out on being in the house for the wrong reasons, but I actually think the real reason was that imagining her future lazy BJs simply bored him to tears.

Oh well. We always have next season.

Watch the full episode (including her eliminasian) here.

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